seven weeks of staying up all night

Tale of 2 Summers by Brian Sloan.
I started reading this book, was charmed by a couple details, and started taking notes to remember things for a review.
Then I realized my notes were becoming a post all on their own. So this is kind of a review, kind of a commentary track.
I wrote all this while I was reading it, when the thought occured to me.

• There’s this future thing—takes place future summer—spiderman 3
  • Harold and Kumar sequel—KUMAR’S BARE ASS
• Ferris quote at the beginning
• Queer boy fart jokes
• “bloody”—some librarians are going to shit themselves, b/c they’ve apparently never met a pretentious teenage gayboy anglophile: “Why’s there British slang if it takes place in DC!?”
• LOL-ing?
• Lang use—dueling bloggers
• Keep referring to Henri as a “euro-punk”—in light of his not-at-all punkiness and the whole gay thing, kinda weirdly icky/funny
• I approve of the word tits.
• “I don’t really dig on guys who are uber-gay”=scary Ken flashbacks
• Unless you know what Lambda is, no clue that this is a GAY BOOK from the cover
• Weird anti-drug moment/channel 1 reference p41
• Yum, Nutella
  • Nutella DOES NOT TASTE LIKE DOUGHNUT FROSTING. However, it would be quite tasty on a doughnut. Like a cake one? Yum…
  • And now I want some Nutella.
  • Stupid gay boy and cheese-eating butt/surrender monkey.
• I think the 75% of the way through, big teenfic crisis moment is going to involve Joey—the guy no one likes
• “emoticoning”—heh
• uh-oh, Henri is breaking into a construction site. Is he bad news? Will he be horribly injured ¾ of the way through the book?
• Also, Henri is a stoner. Which GayBlogger seems to be against, but in a very low-key, TV told me you were bad kind of way.
• You know, this weird anti-drug commentary is making me wonder if someone is going to find their blog. ¾ of the way through, of course. b/c if they did, all those construction site trespassing pictures would totally make things sucky for Frenchie’s govt-working maman.
• Frenchie looks like StraightBlogger! The plot thickens!
• I’m getting a telegraph from the book…StraightBlogger winds up with unassuming MK stop
• Omg—they’re making driver’s ed kids DRIVE ON 495. THE BELTWAY AROUND DC. That’s just crazy talk.
• I think GayBlogger made a move on StraightBlogger on New Years Eve. This book has a terrible poker face.
• Ugh, box wine
• Jim Carrey—outdated reference?
• Frenchie’s dad is dead! That’s why all the death-defying and stonering! And the stupid mausoleum conversation! Or, at least, that’s my current theory.
• I’m finding myself caring less and less about these characters. Except Brett, the Joysey girl who refuses to learn how to drive. I bet there’s a great book in her whole story.
• These kids live around DC and StraightBlogger’s afraid of NYC b/c it’s a “terrorist target”?
• StraightBlogger doesn’t know it , but he’s totally trying to Vlad it up here.
• Such an asshole!!
• IS NO ONE GOING TO POINT OUT THAT MK ISN’T PISSED B/C STRAIGHTBLOGGER HAD A WET DREAM ABOUT HER, SHE’S PISSED B/C HE TOLD HOT GIRL HE WASN’T THAT INTO HER (MK)!?
• I’m also confused by the fact that no one is calling it a wet dream.
• Oh, Frenchie’s dad’s just an asshole. Anti-climactic.
• Frenchie says there’s no French word for bitch. Um, chienne? Look, I did research.
• So, in their tiny crappy boring suburb, there’s a locally-owned coffee place, a comic book store, an Ethiopian restaurant, and a gay bar? I mean, I know it’s around a big city, but yeesh.
• Why does 2 teenaged boys making out in a suburban gay bar sound like a REALLY bad idea to me?
• Also, GayBlogger just expressed surprise that an Asian guy didn’t have an Asian accent.
• You know, a lot of the nonstereotyped gayboy stuff in this book has become a moot point by what a stupid boy asshole archetype StraightBlogger is.
• Pot brownies
• You can’t see Before Sunset without seeing Before Sunrise—that’s just stupid.
• StraightBlogger thinks Julie Delpy was lying about not meeting Ethan Hawke because her grandmother died! I kind of hate this book right now.
• THE BOOK JUST GAVE AWAY THE ENDING TO THE MOVIE. I really hate this book right now, and you have no idea how pissed I’d be if I still hadn’t seen Before Sunset yet.
• I like this MK girl. She says she doesn’t want to “hit all the bases in one night”; she’s a big pushy drama girl; and she totally told StraightBlogger to his face that he “had his chance last Monday” to have sex with her. Why can’t I just read a book about her?
• What moronic bar owner would let 2 15yrold gayboys come to his bar on a Saturday night? Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?
• Oh, it’s under 21 night. OK
• When your boy says to someone that he’s not your boyfriend and you’re an overly emotional wreck, this is not the time for a Long Island Ice Tea.
• GayBlogger thinks Frenchie said it b/c his mom’s back and things are weird; Brett’s got some weird Rules-based theory. Or, he’s a 15yrold boy who doesn’t want to admit he’s gay with a boyfriend. Anyone think of that!?
• I hate when I’m annoyed with a book but want to know what happens so I can’t stop reading. I would totally stop reading this book if I wasn’t so damn curious and 40 pages from the end.
• Now, maybe this is just wisdom that comes with age (oh, I am so age-ed and learn-ed), but he’s not your boyfriend until you’ve had The Conversation and he’s said, Yes. I am your boyfriend.
• Now there’s a hurricane coming!?
• Tornados!
• Apparently, summer romances/first loves aren’t drama-ful enough for Mr Brian Sloan. He’s gotta get Acts of God all up in there.
• MK is so not going to get to have the most fun a girl can have with StraightBlogger. In fact, I wonder if the mook even knows that a girl can have fun.
• And now GayBlogger is taking relationship advice from Dr Drew.
• OMG! Is Frenchie DEAD!? I thought they didn’t kill off teenlit characters just for being gay anymore.
• Oh, ok. He just disappeared for a few days. The Frenchie is still alive, folks.
• The moral of the story? Bros before hos. The moral of the commentary? I want my 250 pages back.
• No, wait--if the moral of the story is bros before hos, where's my girl Brett? What happened to her? And why'd they do so much complaining about that Joey dude only to have him not show up for the last half of the book. Way to not deliver on your foreshadowing, dude.

ETA: You know what's annoying? Blogger publishes drafts under the date you started the draft. Luckily, you can go in and edit to a more correct date and time, like when I actually finished reading the stupid book and writing this thing.