in your dad’s suits you hide

Billboard January 21, 2006

• I’m really hungry. After getting a message referencing Los Bravos, you kind of don’t want your lame granola bar anymore.
  
• Some rapper—ah, DMX—is on the cover with his dog. How is rappers with pitbulls any different from rich girls with purse dogs?
  
• I accidentally typed “god” there. Heh.
  
• Apparently, according to Billboard, it’s the “Year of the Dog” whatever that means.
  
• ”…RAMMSTEIN, Germany’s current most successful live music export.”
  
• That was all for you, Cara.
  
• So, this JT Leroy guy is a phony?
  
• All I know about him is that he edited this year’s DeCapo best music writing.
  
• Which was a disappointment. Except Greil Marcus’ Buddy Holly piece.
  
• And I was left wondering, Have I lost my taste for pretentious rock crit?
  
• But I guess I can just blame it on this Leroy mook, right?
  
• I mean, one of the things he chose was that piece Eggers had in Spin about Big Country.
  
• Which I liked, at least more than I usually like Dave Eggers (which basically means I didn’t want to punch him in the face halfway through reading it), but it was still a bit too precious and precocious for me.
  
• Like, “look! Even before I was supersmart verbose writer guy, my musical taste was SO innovative, SO amazing, that I loved this band no one else knew much of anything about! And I grasped what they were doing musically, when I was 13, and I’m going to make all these grandiose, rewriting-history type claims about both the band and myself.”
  
• But, you know, I wasn’t this irritated after reading it in the magazine originally, so I can blame all this ire on that Leroy mook, right?
  
• DMX’s real name is Earl.
  
• Stuart Copeland’s about to release a documentary that’s mostly old super8 Police footage. I’m not the world’s biggest Police fan, but I am ALL about super8.