clangbangCRASH

Billboard January 14, 2006.

• It’s really been 10 whole years of Destiny’s Child? I guess that’s why they get to be all nekkid on the fake cover advertisement thing.
  
• blah blah piracy blah
  
• If only it were the fun kind of piracy, with ham and lime Starburst.
  
• ”Madonna has entered a licensing del with West Coast-based Celebrity Cellars to create and distribute a commemorative, limited-edition collection of wines.”
  
• Booze is the new picture book?
  
• This is the all-Destiny’s Child issue. Not that they don’t have their moments, but I just kinda don’t care.
  
• Although, this article here says one of their original names was “Cliché”. Heh.
  
• This bullet point is me laughing about that some more.
  
• There are a lot of these weird, digitally colored looking photographs (it’s almost like a topographical map-looking effect, and I don’t know what it’s called) that the girls all look awful in.
  
• And it seems like, if someone wanted all of Destiny’s Child to look bad, that’s the sort of thing they’d have to put a lot of work into.
  
• Couldn’t that work have been better done somewhere else?
  
• The library handyman is putting up the teenhole’s new tall shelving (yay) and I keep hearing all these bangs and clangs.
  
• Normal for putting up metal shelving, I know, but it’s distracting.
  
• It’s all warm today, and the itchy bugs have hatched and started biting me. I hate itchy bugs.
  
• I still can’t decide if I like Keane or not.
  
• ”Latin Notas” column this issue titled, “Hot, and Not”.
  
• Here’s a sample of NOT: “Raggaeton songs that depend on dated computer programming and even more dated references to booty, dancing and prowess in bed. These are valid topics…”
  
• There goes my hit single about…crap, I can’t think of any nerdy old programming jokes. Little help?
  
• Goddam! My shoulder’s itchy. Stupid bugs.
  
• Mr. and Mrs. Barry Gibb bought Johnny and June Carter Cash’s house.
  
• They “intend to use it as an inspirational place to write songs.”
  
• …