I'm not as clever as Mark Twain.

September 17, 2005

• The skin on my right hand is all flaky and weird—heh, I’ve got a red right hand. And now it smells like weird lotion. I just noticed this this morning, and I have no idea where it came from. Going to make knitting even more of an adventure…
  
• Old news, I know, but c’mon: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” I love a cute, blunt as hell, talented famous boy.
  
• Apparently, elementary school kids are being taught about copyright and to add the circle C to their essays, according to some letter-writing chick from Philadelphia.
  
• And then they’ll all want a Funzo for Christmas.
  
• And, anyway, any Pgh Filmmakers alum has been told that just adding that symbol only goes so far. (thanks, Juan Cantino!)
  
• R.Kelly is BMI’s songwriter of the year. I never cease to be amused by this man, from his alleged secret marriage to Aliyah (that no one talks about anymore), to his newest shit, which I admittedly have neither heard nor seen, but that sounds a lot like an R&B version of Matthew Barney’s Cremaster Cycle: overblown and using imagery someone else used to make one point to make the complete opposite point.
  
• Anyone willing to hear my entire diatribe on Matthew Barney need only to ask.
  
• Damn, that super skinny iPod is sexy.
  
• Aw, Matador records. You just don’t hear enough about them anymore.
  
• Unless you run with people like me ‘n’ Tiff, of course. We’re still too firmly based in the 1990s, musically, to not still heart Matador.
  
• This list item was going to be a 1990s-related Belle & Sebastian quote, but I’m drawing a blank right now, which is kinda crazy for me.
  
• I’ve been all about the ampersand lately.
  
• ”Target is…implementing a bidding system for album cuts in its advertising circulars.”
  
• Target, baby, how can you do this to me? I thought we were tight, what with the $1 skeleton gloves, girl-sized cord blazers, that Hello Kitty dress Shane is wearing for Halloween (yeah, you thought I had forgotten about that, didn’t you?), and the hipster commercials.
  
• Aw, I still love you, sweetie. It’s like the folktale about the woman who lets a snake into her house and then gets surprised when it bites her: no matter how cool Target seems, they are a big multinational box store.
  
• Interestingly enough, Walmart’s still willing to go into a deal with BET that involves Kanye West. Isn’t their target audience the same group of people that suddenly started hating the Dixie Chicks?
  
• Louis XIV + Old Spice = funny as shit. I want a deodorant that smells like greasy hipster.
  
• Shit, that was a joke, but, let’s face it, we all know I’d be down.
  
• Louis XIV are looking quite pretty in this photo. Too bad they kinda suck.
  
• Also, does anyone want to talk about the fact that their single is really only good for dancing to, in a hot smoky alcohol-scented divey space, right before you go home with (most likely) a stranger? Does this say deodorant to ANYONE?
  
• Bueller?
  
• I guess my problem with all this is that I really don’t buy Louis XIV smelling all that fresh and Old Spice-ish, you know?
  
• Perks Of Being a Librarian: your home for discussions of how faux new wave bands smell!
  
• I don’t know who Bebe is, but I need someone to cause a distraction so I can steal her coat. It’s pictured on page 35, and it matches the purse I’m knitting PERFECTLY.
  
• New Echo & the Bunnymen—hee. And a tour!
  
• Anyone heard the new Depeche Mode single yet? I’m curious. As long as it doesn’t sound like “People are People”. I fucking hate that song.
  
• OK, I’ve finally found it: an unflattering photo of Kanye West. They do, in fact, exist, and where else but in the Billboard charts would I find it? That is, after all, wear they stick all those fake boobalicious pictures of Ms Carey.
  
• For just $3,375,000, me and James could live on Mulholland Drive! “Just you, and I, forever…” um, I forget the rest. Cara? Tiff? Little help?
  
• Oh my god, Shirley Manson has the same horrible fake smile in pictures I have! Scary.