Scenes from a class visit.

Some notes from a week of visiting ninth grade classes:
Ask who watched the premiere of Heroes earlier that week. It will help you identify any fanboys you don't already know*. Quickly mention that a large part of why you watched the show was because Jess from Gilmore Girls was in it.
If you have strong opinions about the Jess/Dean/Logan debate, this would be a good time to bring them up. Feel free to reward with candy those in the group who share your opinion.
Feel kind of weird that you have to explain to the teacher the general synopsis of the show, as you feel like you haven't been able to escape its PR campaign for the last month or so. Wonder if the teacher's been living under a rock, or just doesn't pay attention to popular culture, or network tv. Realize after the fact that you should have offered her candy for asking a question.
Be sure to mock any and all regular members of your crew (including any running jokes from, say, your anime club) who happen to be around. Not because you're mean-spirited, but because you honestly suspect they'd wonder what was wrong if you didn't. Also, if a patron has checked out a book you wanted to read, pretty much under your nose, bring that up too. You're allowed to pout and/or be sarcastic.
Don't just pay attention to what the internet is telling you about teens and immergent technologies/entertainment deliveries. You've got a captive audience and are offering candy (you are offering candy, right?) for opinions. What do these kids think about Jackass? Downloading tv shows from iTunes? Do they care? And isn't that why god invented YouTube, anyway?
If someone tells you they've read a book a movie was based on, ask which they liked better. Ask why. Don't judge if they liked the movie better.
If you've got Laffy Taffy, why not ask a student to tell you a joke in return?
Especially if your library is in a one-video-store town, be sure to mention how much cheaper your library is for movies, compared to said video store. Also mention that you order just about all the new releases, a bunch of older stuff, and will most likely order what patrons suggest. Talk as much shit as you'd like about how better your library is than the video store. Because, let's face it, you should be. If you work at the sort of library that doesn't order new releases on DVD and older stuff, especially anime, horror flicks, and other teensploitation, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously! Why are you even bothering to do class visits if you aren't ordering popular movies?
Find out how many books you have at your library. They really like to ask that one.
If someone asks you what the meaning of life is, you say 42. You have just been tested.
Secretly, you are allowed to get annoyed by teachers judging what their students have read. Just try not to show your displeasure when the teacher says, for example, they'd rather a student was reading about Hannibal-who-invaded-with-elephants than the Lecter one. Kick yourself when you realize you had the perfect excuse to trot out your "my vice-principal was in that movie" story.
If someone asks you what you've been reading, and it happens to be 30 Days of Night**, warn the squeamish in the class about the gore.
Before throwing candy around any classroom, be sure to warn students of your terrible aim and the fact that you throw like a girl. Also tell them to duck. Laugh along with everyone else when the girl who wasn't paying attention gets beaned by a left-over summer reading sucker. Apologize too, though.
Yell at everyone to pay attention when you give the hours of the library, because you hate pulling out the "our system automatically shuts off in 5 minutes" bit.

*Not surprisingly, I'm pretty familiar with my area's fanboy population. We can smell our own. At some point, I began avoiding booktalking Joss Whedon-related works, because of my tendency to nerd out and alienate the class.
**Fucking amazing.

Only compared to some.

Billboard September 23

• The man on the advertisement cover is, I'm assuming, some very soulful, emotional singer.
• However, this is what he looks like he is thinking:
• "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
• It's just not a good day without a Princess Bride reference, is it?
• Unless, that is, you have no guacamole.
• Which, in my world, is pretty damn tragic.
• But then, I'm also kinda hungry right now.
• You know what I really hate about Firefox? I can't alt-tab between tabs.
• Or can I?
• How do I do that?
• The Killers are on the real cover.
• It's very grainy and looks as though it's lost a few copier generation-image quality type things.
• What's 'at called again?
• One of them looks kind of like Jack Fairy.
• Two of them are wearing vests.
• The one that sometimes looks like a drummer I made out with once doesn't look like him.
• None of them are attractive.
• And, no, David, it's not just about the beards.
• Rod Stewart's wearing a vest, too!
• It's an infestation.
• No...
• wait for it...
• It's an inVESTation!
• Heh--I'm so witty.
• And not really a fan of the vest, either.
• Exceptions made for in sweater form.
• At some point, I'm totally going to finish that sweater vest I've been working on. I swear.
• I'm thinking, incidentally, that the current sweater (that lace-leaf one)needs a name matching the cats' names.
• It's certainly shedding like one of the jerks, except green.
• It's also coming along quite well.
• aaaah, Anton Corbijn took the cover picture.
• That explains the graininess.
• I didn't even recognize Axl Rose in this picture.
• I did, however, hear "Knocking on Heaven's Door" this morning.
• And "Hey Jealousy", but that's a whole 'nother thing.
• Beyonce's licensing herself to a phone game.
• I hope it's like that old Barbie video game where you help her get dressed.
• I told some high school kid about The U.S. vs. John Lennon the other day at the school, so I feel like I've done my Beatles duty for the month.
• You know, the Killers are definitely less skinny than they used to be, but they don't look puffy at all.
• I approve of that.
• You listening, DiCaprio?
• I wonder what the Killers are like live; if they're a good time or just their albums, redux.
• Goddam, I hate you, Coldplay.
• Bob Seger's back.
• Berry went into the studio with the rest of R.E.M.
• I don't know how I feel about this.
• I mean, I had kind of washed my hands of R.E.M.
• Like Wilco, they're allowed to grow and change musically, but I'm allowed to prefer their older stuff.
• I just ordered some patrons to go get me some Dairy Queen.
• No dice.
• Ingrates.
• Beyonce looks like she was part of last night's America's Next Top Model challenge on the cover of her album.
• With the crazy wigs?
• This new ad has showed up in the Billboard classifieds under legal services.
• "FATHER'S RIGHTS!!" Phone number: 312-356-DADS.
• yup.
• Someone please buy Whitney Houston a new wig.

He's popping pills and he's calling his ex.

Billboard Sept 16

• I should be reading this magazine, but I'm totally enthralled by the Walkmen's webpage right now.
• I've been in kind of a general funk for the past couple of weeks.
• I've also been watching Velvet Goldmine a lot more than is advisable.
• I don't think the two things are entirely unrelated.
• Plus, all my best stories are kind of unbloggable right now.
• That's annoying.
• And it must be irritating to read.
• Like when your best friend in third grade says they have a secret they can't tell you and you realize, hunh--maybe your friendship isn't that great.
• Or not.
• And the Killers just get uglier and uglier...
• Although one of them looks not unlike a certain AV clerk I made out with once.
• More Envanescence.
• Now, I know I give a lot of lip service to my 16yrold self and what she would have liked, but I just don't know about this one.
• Although, of course, I always support the messy goth princess look in clothing.
• And too much black eye makeup.
• The shirt Ashley Simpson is wearing in this picture looks suspiciously like a cami Janice and I both bought on clearance at Victoria's Secret and rocked the summer after freshman year.
• At least one of us wore it to the Warped Tour that year.
• Except ours was cuter.
• And, keeping in mind that this was almost 10 years ago. Very Gwen Stefani, before her really crazy shit started.
• The founder of YouTube looks like whatshisface from Six Feet Under.
• Claire's art school boyfriend who screwed their teacher.
• The ads in this issue look like they were laid out by a high school yearbook committee.
• At a "special" school.
• Berry played with the rest of REM earlier this month!
• Does anyone see a vague physical resemblance between Fergie and Charo?
• Or is it just all the work?
• What is it about Jared Leto that he can be wearing a stupid hat and what looks like a backwards tie (apparently, if you can't read, you also can't put a tie on right), and I still think he's pretty.
• Damn you, My So-Called Life!

They're throwing a party and you're not invited.

(This is a librarianing post.)

How much of readers advisory services should be about bibliotherapy and how much is pure entertainment? How do you discern what a patron needs versus what a patron wants? If those two really are diametrically opposed, which do you go with? I know teen librarians tend to be all about the bibliotherapy (My life changed! Because of a book! The librarian gave me!), but does life really work that way?
The most dangerous question: Can one book really make that much of a difference, or are we all a sum of everything we read, view, and/or listen to?
Can you point to the parts of your personality or belief system that come directly from your favorite or most-read book? (Obviously, this question is a moot point if your favorite book has a major world religion behind it.)
I've been wondering all this for the last couple days, after someone on my trusty teen lit listserv asked for recommendations for a group of seventh grade girls looking for fiction about rape, abuse, incest, etc. Immediately, many of my fellow librarians went into bibliotherapist mode. Which is great, if that's indeed what these girls need. I can't argue with the idea that reading a story similar to your troubles could very well help you to at least begin to verbalize and heal from those problems.
But I also think I know a little something about middle school girls. I remember the kind of stories I was attracted to as a middle school girl. If you're a girl, think about what you read and watched in middle school. That's when soap operas first caught your eye, right? Did you have a friend surreptitiously pass you a copy of Forever, Go Ask Alice, or Flowers in the Attic? Did the "nonfictional" aspect of Go Ask Alice make a difference to you? Did you take a cursory glance over the new fiction before heading back to Sweet Valley High? Don't lie--that's when you started reading Anne Rice's books, isn't it?
My point is, middle school girls like trash. The trashier, more sensationalistic the trash, the better. It's something most of us go through. What harm are we doing by not acknowledging that guilty pleasures have their place as well? If you're shaking your head in disagreement with me, ask yourself this question: You have the day off, with nothing to do but sit in the world's comfiest armchair in front of a sunny window. You can read Noam Chomsky or V.C. Andrews. Which do you choose? Are you imposing a different choice on those younger than you, simply because you're older? Who do you think is the favorite aunt or uncle--the one who buys those paperback Nickelodeon tie-in picture books, or Patricia Polacco's latest adult-reader-oriented tearjerker?
Also, you'll pay attention to how I say begin to. There are many, many books I love and would recommend to a person in the same situation as the protagonist, or to someone looking for a genuinely well-written story, but that in no way can compare with counseling or other professional help. Sometimes, it's okay to say you're just a librarian, not a social worker. Or a doctor. Or a psychiatrist. Or a lawyer.
At its heart, readers advisory is about matching people with stories. To me, a huge part of that is finding out the motivation behind wanting a particular story. Rats Saw God fits the questions: I need 10 AR points; my son is suddenly flunking his senior year and screwing everything up; I'm a huge Veronica Mars fan; What have you got that's good to read? But is it necessarily the best answer to all of those questions for the person standing in front of you, or on IM, or through MySpace*?
And I kind of wonder if we're not doing a disservice to the not-trash by recommending, say, Leaving Fishers or Godless when what the patron is really looking for is some sensationalistic mass market paperback "about" "not Katie Holmes" being trapped in "not Scientology"?

Reading a book or watching a movie before you're emotionally and intellectually ready for it can ruin that book or movie for you. I think everyone has an example of something they thought sucked, but then went back and liked 5-10 years later. But what if no one went back?

Other random readers advisory anecdote:
The other week, one of my regulars came in and said he needed some stuff to get out of a reading funk. I had given him at least 5 books a couple days before (and when I say "given", what I mean is, "shoved at him and said, here--read this" and he did), but even the usual suspects weren't catching his interest. He's also slogging his way through a big thick classic for AP Senior English. So I headed into the juvenile fiction stacks. I asked how often he reread stuff, and explained that, when I'm stuck, or not feeling well, or cranky, I tend to go back and reread certain things. If I'm sick, for example, I want Mrs Grass's chicken soup and Narnia. So I gave him Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising (he hadn't read it) and sent him on his way. Reading slump solved.
We can all talk about reading up, or down, or comfort level, or finding reflections of our lives in fictional work and the importance of that, but sometimes it's really as simple as What fits the best in this particular situation?

*Bringing up another question: Should you consider a person's MySpace page before recommending a book? If a girl's page was all faux-Girls-Gone-Wild and she asked you what was new and good, would it all be serious works about girls with bad reputations? Don't you think she'd get the hint, and do you think that would damage your credibility in her eyes?
Can you tell someone they should read Sandpiper (which, incidentally, I love and you should all read) without the underlying sentiment of, "this is book about a slutty girl who realizes maybe it's not such a great idea to be so easy. Hey, maybe you could learn something from it, if you catch my drift"?
And speaking of, when the hell is Sara Zarr's Story of a Girl coming out? I'd let you borrow my galley copy, but I might have to break some legs if I don't get it back.

Here's a truck stop instead of Saint Peter's.

Feed, if you aren’t a teen librarian, is a book about a group of teens, in The Future, and how vapid their Future lives are.
Well, actually, it’s a book about how smart M.T. Anderson is, and how, by extension, his fans are smarter than your average teenager (or adult, if you’re a YA librarian). I found the entire book to be condescending as hell; the worst, though, was the author bio, where Anderson claimed to get the idea for the language and dialogue in the book from overhearing conversations at malls.
Well, of course it’s going to seem like language and discourse are dead arts and people are becoming worse and worse at communication and vocabularies are shrinking if your “research” consists of listening to people while they shop. Imagine if he had been at a grocery store instead—every character would be obsessed with the firmness of their salad, the weird liquid around their meat. Seriously: think about the last time you were shopping for clothes. Were you having an intelligent, thought-provoking conversation about the world around you, life, love, etc., or were you insulting your friend by calling her Nina Garcia while trying to decide if light grey patent leather open-toe shoes are too old lady?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. They were cute shoes, though. Too bad they didn’t fit me right.
Anyway, the main character and his friends go to the moon and it sucks. (That, incidentally, is a paraphrase of the book’s first line. It’s a great line; book totally goes downhill from there.) It sucks because some jerks come and hack into their feeds, which are these computer things wired into everyone’s brain in The Future. Because that way everyone can know stuff without having to learn it is the theory, I guess. In practice, it’s so a thinly-veiled Abercrombie can make you want to buy stuff…in your brain! You can also watch tv in your brain and chat with your friends in your brain. But not in like a telekinesis, know each others thoughts kind of way. In an AIM is in your brain kind of way. I don’t know; I don’t understand the “science” behind all this, and I’m not sure MT does either.
Oh, and you also get advertised to in your dreams. Which, I would think, would make people’s lives easier, or at least more straight-forward. Like, if I go home tonight and dream about having split ends, I’m going to think it’s weird and confusing and wonder what my brain was trying to tell me. But if I was in Feed, I’d know it was just Loreal doing its job.
While our intrepid stupid teens are in the hospital, they meet a poor ickle sick girl, who is sick because her Future Luddite parents didn’t install her feed until puberty, or something. Because they wanted her to read books. Or something. Too late, in any case, for it to really mesh well. And I think they might be poor (so noble! Any minute now, she’ll be dancing on the tables in steerage with Leo!), so she’s got a crap model.
Of course, main character/narrator (remember, folks—it’s not YA if it’s not first person!) falls in love with ickle sick smart poor girl, because she’s pure and smart and thinks about things like the implications of having a computer wired into your brain and pollution and stuff. If they had a school dance, she’d totally paint a poster of the Earth that said, “Don’t tread on me.” And then vampires would come because they had to invite everyone.
But they don’t have a school dance, because she dies. (Plus, I think she might be home schooled or something. You know, by her Future Luddite/hippie parents.) And everyone learns a lesson. And every year after that, they celebrate Stargirl’s contribution to their lives.
Sorry, wrong hackneyed, “Let’s all learn something from the nice noncomformist because we’re stupid sheep” YA novel.
See, this is what really gets my goat about this book. It’s not just the condescension; it’s the feeding into the, let’s face it, natural condescension of your average smart teenager. Books like these buy into the idea that smarter = better, and that those who don’t feel comfortable doing what most of society does are somehow better, smarter, and have something to teach everyone else. Not only do I think that’s a pretty crap version of humanity, but people like that are fucking insufferable. It’s like if all the Smurfs suddenly deferred to Brainy. Or if everyone agreed with my assessment of this book because I’ve got an MLS.
I think, secretly, a lot of librarians like this book because they were teens who thought they were better and smarter then their peers. And, yeah, I did too, but then I made smart friends. And grew out of that shit.

Oh, and there are filet mignon bushes, which sounds kind of awesome to me. I’d totally be Homering it up, like in the episode where the Germans talk about coming from the land of chocolate and Homer fantasizes taking a giant bite out of a dog.
And the requisite flying cars.

having an Angela Chase moment...

Personal blog of a young adult librarian in Indiana. Read about the quirks of life inside and outside the library.

Own up, people. Who wrote this?
Me and my goddam quirky life.
***
That's the description of PoBaL over at Yahoo Librarian Weblogs. Which, I should add, my stats never show anyone coming from. Can you blame them? I mean, I know I'm not all that consistently entertaining, but I'm certainly better than that assy write-up.
Can I blame sunspots for this, too?

More than a feeling.

Billboard September 2

• The advertisement cover is for the VMAs, which I didn't watch this year.
• I think my parents were actually here then.
• So, I saw Hollywoodland last night, and I'm ready to start making some Oscar predictions.
• Diane Lane will be nominated, because Diane Lane is nominated for an Oscar any time she leaves her house.
• Affleck may be nominated, too. Depends on how they split the Leo DiCaprio/Marky Mark lead/supporting actor for Scorsese's new movie.
• The Academy really likes to snub Marty, but they seem to want to have DiCaprio's children, so it's a tough call on nominations.
• Won't win, though.
• Depending on how the midterm election goes and what the cultural climate is this January, I think this is Forest Whitacker's year for an Oscar, for playing Idi Amin.
• Well, we'll see. My predictions are usually the more spot-on the closer I make them to the winner's announcement, as anyone who slogged through all my Oscar blogging last time can attest to.
• I can't decide, but I think I like that new Killers single.
• "When You Were Young"
• It's a weird mess of things and influences, and I like that.
• Weird messes, that is.
• God, Jet sucks.
• They're just boring.
• Oh, I love the part in the Killers song about the Devil's water.
• Ridiculous!
• (I'm listening to the song right now, in case you were wondering why I keep bringing it up.)
• Hey! The Blue Man Group!
• ha
• I took the third season of Arrested Development home this weekend and now I'm sad because there's no more new Arrested Development for me to watch.
• There's a new Primal Scream record?
• I know it's ridiculous, but I really love Hot Fuss. It's such a fun record.
• Ever notice how MTV celebrates every damn birthday it can? I mean, it just doesn't seem like that long ago when I sat through all their 20th birthday crap.
• Plus, this is the 25the for the channel; you know in a couple years we'll be dealing with the 25th anniversary of the VMAs.
• No one toots their own horn like MTV...
• Dear god, they've published a picture of that stupid Britney Spears/Madonna kiss.
• If I really wanted to see bad fake lesbianing designed to make the boys hot, I'd still be going to Saturday night 80s night.
• The singers/frontspeople for Keane and the Darkness are both in rehab.
• There's a really interesting super-group in there somewhere.
• Right now I'm listening to the Cold War Kids. It's pretty okay so far.
• Michel Gondry's going to be directing a Beck video.
• I miss old, scruffy, cohosting 120 Minutes with Thurston, setting his acoustic on fire in someone's backyard Beck.
• He's allowed to grow and change, but I'm allowed to prefer One Foot in the Grave.
• Even though I really secretly can't stand the local bar here, I have to love that "Satan Gave Me a Taco" is on their jukebox.
• Ricky Martin's doing an Unplugged.
• I didn't know that show was still even in existence.
• It's like the elusive Elvis Costello Storytellers, which I used to see commercials for all the damn time but I never actually got to see.
• 6 question is with Trey Anastasio.
• urk
• Hellogoodbye sound like something I would hear on WPTS while I was driving to drop off my Stanley Kubrick final paper.
• Which is kind of pretty awesome, if you're into that kind of hard-core nostalgia for 6-7 years ago.
• "This American Life" is going to have a show on Showtime next year.
• Must. Make. Friends. With. People. Who. Have. Showtime.