His telephone is found.

I get my hair cut about once every 5-6 months. I don't do this on purpose; it just kind of happens that way. I good haircut grows with your hair and keeps looking good, until one day I look in the mirror and hate everything.
It's triangle-y and flyaway and overwhelms my tiny face and makes my glasses look even more nerdishly crooked.*
And that's when I get the majority of it chopped off. This is something I've been doing for about 8 years now, since the first all-chopped-off my junior year of college. Before that, there were years of trimming the nasty ends but keeping length, which started as an attempt to even out the horrible layers.
OK, perhaps we should have some timeline action. Also, keep in mind that I have the worst kind of jewfro: some tight curls, some looser ones, frizzies, etc. etc.

1979: Born. Completely bald until 2.

1983 (about): OK, I have a really vague memory of having cute pigtail braids at a family function. Long ones.

1984: It's all chopped off evenly around my head. In kindergarten, I get mistaken for a boy in the bathroom. Or, some older girl thinks it's funny to call me a boy. Yeah, I was that kid, the one everyone thought it was fun to mess with.
late 80s-mid 90s: The hair gets longer, but the top layers are still short. This haircut is why I hate my childhood pictures, and (if I could get real emo for a second) kinda the main reason behind every "I'm ugly" thought I've ever had.

1994 or so: Start growing the top layers out. Little boxy for a bit, but somehow works well with the stereotypically mid90s weird kid look I begin cultivating, after realizing how hardcore I suck at looking normal.**
This is also when I begin with the black hair dye, and when I realize that changing up the wash/dry/braid/whathaveyou cycle even a little causes my hair to look dramatically different.

1996 (at least, I think so; my mom doesn't remember this at all): Realizing that my hair won't take any fun colors without bleach, I come up with a plan to take the color out of a chunk of my hair, a la Caitlyn from Degrassi(see Fig A). Then, the plan went, I would dye it various colors. I enlisted Kerenq Gilboa and we commandeered some black hair dye (for the rest of my head), some facial bleach (I know!!), and a bathroom in her house. I don't think any pictures survive of this look, but I bet they'd be hilarious.

1998: Before my intro to mass comm recitation, I get all my hair chopped off at a trusted salon. It looks very cute.
This is when I switch over to red dye sometimes.


Fig A:





*'Nother xboy gem:
Jessy--Do you think my glasses are noticibly crooked to everyone, or is it me?
Andy--I love your crooked glasses and how nerdy they make you look.
Points for trying, right?

**Seriously--I'm terrible at looking like everyone else. Even as a Halloween costume. Cara's Certain Filmmaking X makes a better Republican than I do a sorority girl.