Crap-ticulous!

Like my new word?

Billboard June 10

• Starbucks puts too much cream in their drive-thru iced coffee.
  
• And the xtra caffiene hasn't kicked in yet.
  
• Don't worry, I won't begin accusing innocent drive-thru employees again just yet.
  
• I bought 2 necklaces and a locket yesterday, so I think the necklace thing now officially counts as my new obsession.
  
• You know, that and vampirates.
  
• Or, more accurately, vampirates and uni-pirates/pi-corns.
  
• Those names are (TM) Becca/Tiff.
  
• Oh, and I added a couple new things to my Etsy store.
  
• And will be adding more at some point.
  
• OK, so the cover story this time is about music and World Cup.
  
• I'm betting they just used the copy from the Olympics and replaced "Lou Reed" with "Shakira".
  
• (who my sister thinks should be dating Nick Lachey, incidentally)
  
• But the cover image is this somewhat terrifying pictrue of a soccer team (red and white uniforms--li'l help on id'ing?) but they've replaced their heads--
  
• ineptly, I might add
  
• --with musicians: Elvis, Wyclef, Elton John, the aforementioned Shakira, and...um, is that Toni Braxton?
  
• I don't know.
  
• I can't believe Nelly Furtado is back.
  
• Didn't she annoy me enough the first time around?
  
• I hate that fake deep girl singer crap.
  
• Hey, WalMart may lift the ban on parental advisory stuff.
  
• HA
  
• HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
  
• (I'm amusing myself by replacing "pirates" in all the online/music/whathaveyou piracy newsbits and articles with "vampirates".)
  
• So, Sweden is now shutting down vampirates.
  
• I hope they brought garlic Starburst.
  
• And mirrored ham.
  
• OK, my too much caffiene has officially kicked in.
  
• ahh, nonsensical Jessy
  
• Now with even more nonsense!
  
• Yes, that was Toni Braxton in the scary cover picture.
  
• I know it's very easy and tired to remark on the disturbing nature of children's programming, but take a look at this picture:
  
• 
  
• There's a slightly less freakish one in the magazine.
  
• Nelly Furtado, honey, you are not Shakira.
  
• Just stop.
  
• Remember when Jewel tried to be all urban "sexy" and dancey?
  
• Yeah, Furtado's trying the same thing.
  
• See, this is why I hate fakedeep girlsingers.
  
• They're always sucking up the airways in different ways.
  
• Remember when Liz Phair wasn't one of them?
  
• And now I think we've all pretty much washed our hands of Ms Phair, haven't we?
  
• What show was she on, Tiff?
  
• Pepper Dennis?
  
• That's just so fucking sad.
  
• Oh, dear Jebus (or Gesus, if you prefer)--there's a new Cracker album.
  
• Now that's crap-ticulous.
  
• Oh, no wait--that's not nearly as bad as the review below it, for the new Toto album.
  
• OK, I have to repeat that in all caps.
  
• THE NEW TOTO ALBUM
  
• !
  
• ahem
  
• Also, can we all officially declare Madonna out of touch?
  
• Please?
  
• I'll give you my sparkly jacket with the dollar bill pyramid on the back.
  
• It used to belong to Jimi Hendrix, you know.
  
• Someone just needed help finding Who Moved My Cheese.
  
• Is it just me, or should authors of hokey self-help-type books avoid using words like "cheese" in their titles?