At my undergrad job at the infamous ILL, we had at least 6 different horoscope sites bookmarks, and every day, we would pick and choose between them. I don't remember what any of them were, now, although I do think Excite was involved.
--Wow, I didn't even know Excite was still around.--
I just took a quiz that's supposed to tell me how I match up to my sign, but they want to email results, and don't I get enough spam anyway?
Here's what Yahoo says today is like for me
The next day or two -- and maybe more -- will be startling to say the least. A family member's announcement regarding a secret you thought would never see daylight will catch you off guard. You and all other parties concerned.
Hmmm, I guess Mom will finally find out where all her Dylan records really are.
Actually, my horoscopes today are kind of all-around boring. Even my year-of-the-sheep/goat one is lame. But just look at this cute l'il guy:
. How could he steer me wrong?Speaking of cute...
Here are some Cancerian highlights from The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need, Second Edition by Joanna Martine Woolfolk (Dewey, excuse me DUI, # 133.5 WOL 2001):
No one has ever said Cancerians are easy to understand. You may appear gentle, kind, sympathetic, and a patient listener. Then someone asks for advice, and you turn cranky, snappish, and appear to be completely indifferent to anyone's problems but your own. You may wallow in self-pity and complain endlessly about how mistreated you are by the world. Turn another page of the calendar and suddenly you are back being helpful, solicitous, ready to do anything asked of you. More than any other sign, Cancer is a series of contradictions. You prize security above all else, yet love new adventure. You are the soul of caution but you're also a courageous initiator who goes out of your way to push over obstacles with your driving personality.
In short, I'm a crazy, moody bitch who's also a lovely person. But we all knew that, right?
Seriously, we can all joke about this stuff, but some days, these things are scary right: "You don't trust others or the universe or yourself."
"You are cautious about revealing too much of yourself; you guard your secrets well."
And then there's more of the crabs-have-a-hard-shell stuff.
And then the ego stroking: "You are artistic and creative, and have formidable intellectual talents."
Princess Diana, Meryl Streep, and Ernest Hemingway are Cancers. So are Helen Keller (we have the same birthday), and our own Cara.
Oh, and my trees are "trees rich in sap".
Apparently, I'd like a date involving a restaurant with strolling musicians.
This is not true.
I'm also in the first decanate of Cancer, which I'm sure is something real, but sounds like the name of a person who can change into an animal in an Amelia Atwater-Rhodes book. This means I "have ave excellent memory for feelings and impressions..., but ordinary day-to-day details escape you."
Yup.
"...salt should be avoided...Cancer people should stay away from spicy, highly seasoned food..."
Screw that noise.
Now, wasn't this more informative than me bitching about Billboard?
4 comments:
you liar...you totally want a date at a cave-y italian restaurant with a wander accordian player...or at a mcdonalds where some guy with a key-tar walks around playing journey...
Make it a Taco Bell instead of a McDonalds and you've got yourself a date, little lady!
Aww billboard is fun, I laugh, I cry, I wish I could see what you are looking at.
Meryl Streep has my birthday. I should be wearing Meryl Streep's "Versatility" instead of Stila, I guess.
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