Monday, December 12, 2005

even in Australia.

There are 2 kinds of bad days: the legitmately bad (car accidents you can't drive away from, deaths in the family, that sort of thing) and the stupid bad. On stupid bad days, everything just irritates me so much, I feel like Holden Caulfield. And then I get annoyed at myself for associating yet another emotion with a JD Salinger story.
Some stupid bad days I'm annoyed for no reason (see above Holden reference); others, there's just a series of tiny little unfortunate events that seem to never end.
Saturday was one of those days.*

I woke up in a crappy mood: plans fell through the night before, (probably) some sort of leftover weirdness from seeing on a big screen what had been in my head since I was about 7, and, most of all, the fact that I was up at 6:30 (give or take--god bless you, snooze button) on a Saturday because I had to work.
Due to the snooze button, and the book I was reading, and the cats, and my general lazy-assedness, I was running late. It takes me about 1/2 an hour to get to my library from my apartment. I had to be there at 8:30. At 8:10, I realized I had no sandwich fillings in my apartment, shook Legs off my scarf, and ran out the door, skidding a bit on my icy steps, because I keep forgetting to buy salt.
Only to find my car doors frozen shut.
The only person I know who would be up at 8:30 on a Saturday morning and have advice on how to get a frozen car door open is my dad, so I call home. Unfortunately, my dad is also one of the slowest and most methodical advice givers I know.
This is useful when I need indepth advice, but indepth advice isn't what a girl needs at 8:20, standing outside her frozen car.
Then follows a conversation between a sensible man and a short-tempered, impatient girl, about how said girl owns neither an extention cord or a hair-dryer to plug into an extention cord and warm up the ice around her car door. Then he tells me to get some lukewarm water and try to get it where the door is frozen, not on the glass, because of course then the glass would crack.

This is my car, minus the sun roof. See how much glass?
(Don't worry, I'm not foreshadowing. No glass was broken on Saturday, even though I did have to pick up some Christmas ornament shards. My cats are such assholes.)
The water (plus, I'm betting, the exhaust from my neighbors' ghettomobile, warming up in front of Junior) did the trick, and I peeled out of the as quickly as my somewhat unplowed street and completely unplowed side streets would allow.

Fast forward several hours. I'm at work, la la la, usual Saturday-ness, comics to add to the work blog, etc.
Then 2:30 hits, and it's time to set up for the anime club. Set-up goes fine, if a little more slowly than usual. I don't have time to mess with the remote mouse-thing for the projector, but that always works, anyway.
(That was foreshadowing, ladies and gentlemen.)
Everyone shows up, many of them bringing younger siblings. I look the other way at this, since it's never been a problem before, and I know a lot of these kids probably couldn't come themselves if they couldn't bring their charges.
Most people drag their chairs to the very back of the room. Again, not a problem: I figure the kids who want to chat and watch separate from the ones who only want to pay attention the the screen is a good idea, right?
And then I try to move the remote mouse to play the first episode on the dvd.
(A quick aside about ADV's Advance club thing: they send me a dvd of upcoming stuff once a month. I signed up at ALA, so there's been a minimum of work I put in for this incredibly popular once-a-month thing. The dvds are the kind without a "play all" feature, so each episode has to be chosen. There are four episodes, usually, to a dvd.)
(B quick aside about our projector/dvd showing set-up: there's a laptop in the AV closety thing along with a VCR, sound stuff, etc. You play the dvd on the laptop, hit function and F4 together, usually several times until it actually works, and then go outside into the meeting room to watch the dvd. The cables connecting the laptop to everything else important aren't long enough to take it out into the meeting room.)
So, we've got a dvd that needs a remote or a mouse, a laptop that can't be taken where you can see the screen, a temperamental screen-projector switch, and, suddenly, a remote mouse-thing that will not work.
The remote keyboard thing you use with the projector won't work, either.
I switched the batteries from the (working) projector remote into the mouse-thing. No dice.
I try to switch back to viewing the dvd on the laptop screen, and it got cranky at me.
While this is going on, incidentally, I've got a room full of caffiene-and-sugared up anime fans, ages ranging from 7-20 (give or take).
At one point, we're playing "hot or cold", with me in the AV closet moving my fingers along the laptop mouse thing and listening for Jamie's calls of, "Up!", "Down", and "To your left!"
No one seems to be interested enough in the anime to stop their conversations from the technical difficulties portion of the day. So there's a steady level of volume, which doesn't seem to be bothering anyone else, so I let it be.
That doesn't mean it's not getting on your friendly neighborhood librarian's last nerve, however.

OK, I should back up a second and tell you about this group of little girls who never listen to their librarians when they say things like, Can you please quiet down, or, Don't run in the library. Then these very same little girls, the second one of them turns on another, and this is more common than breathing for most 8yrold girls, the librarian is suddenly their teacher/mommy/babysitter, and they come tell on the mean one.
Here's the thing, if I could be the World's Meanest Librarian for a second: I DON'T CARE.
You know, I never thought I'd be the sort of adult who would have this reaction to a friend-bullied 8yrold, but, cmon, Just Walk Away.
Why, again?
Because I just DON'T CARE.
If she hits you in the library, will I kick her out? Yes.
If there's some sort of legitimate complaint, will I give my Mean Librarian lecture and, if necessary, call the police? Absolutely.
Will I tell you all to play nicely like good little children? No, because when I've been telling you that exact thing for the last 20 minutes, you haven't been listening. And there's a mean, mean girl inside me that thinks it serves you right.
(Don't worry, I'm successful at keeping that mean girl under wraps. She just surfaces when I talk about work, not when I'm actually there.)
Of course, one of the younger siblings at anime club is one of these girls.
And when her big brother is getting teased by another kid, she comes running over to me.
You know, I don't even remember how I handled it, what I did. It was just annoying. I did, however, explain to the "bully" on Sunday that, if he didn't start teasing only those who could take it, I'd be forced to treat him like a 7yrold. And I don't want to do that. (I suppose I should also say that this guy is one of my regulars, who I tease a lot. So it feels weird to be reprimanding him for picking at someone, when he's kind of a frequent target of the Jessy Fake Mean.)

So anime club FINALLY ends and I herd everyone out. It's past 5, so the library is closed. Not to worry, my coworkers have left me the circ desk keys, so I can get through the closed door between the public part of the library and the staff part.
Except, some of our keys? They don't work in every lock.
Like mine, and the door between the public and staff parts.
Like the circ desk copy, and the door between the public and staff parts.
Then I kinda forgot about the side door and just walk outside and around to the back entrance, in my sweater and scarf.

I'm exhausted and cranky, so I decide to grab a stupid movie. While I'm over by the dvds, my phone rings.
Remember this post, and how many of the "equations" seemed to be related to a specific, non-calling boy?
Yeah, call was from him.
And he didn't leave a message. Despite the fact that the last time I called him, 4 weeks ago, was specifically because I needed the phone number of a mutual friend.
Annoying!

Luckily, Cara called, and we had a nice co-bitching session, all about librarianing, boys, neuroscience, families, and the incompatability of morning sex and a caffiene addiction.
Then I danced for a bit with my usual partner in crimes-against-choreography and woke up the next morning, tired but at least less cranky.
Until I had to liontamer a chair and whip against all the internet users at work on Sunday.

But, you know, I'm pretty much in a better mood now. So that's nice.

*Ever notice how I never use the "former, latter" school of overly wordy narration? That's because, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I can never fucking remember which is which.
God, I hate that.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Aesthetics at the Grammar Rodeo.

I remember learning that when you have 3 things in succession, you don’t have to put a comma between the last 2, but that it was preferred.
Is it just me, or has everyone given up on that second comma? It’s a case of
“I like candy, plastic toys and thrift stores.”
VS
“I like candy, plastic toys, and thrift stores.”
The extra comma just looks better, and, I think, sets off each item nicely and equally. In the first sentence, doesn’t it kind of look like “candy” is one item, and “plastic toys and thrift stores” is another?
I don’t like it.

When a word is capitalized and hyphenated, do you have capital letters at the front of both parts? Because “Test-word” looks like ass to me.

This I know is against the rules, and I don’t care. It’s just more aesthetically pleasing to me, and looks are what counts, right?
I HATE the way it looks when the punctuation is included before the second quotation mark, if what’s in quotes isn’t a complete sentence.
Example:
She said I was “interesting,” and then she left.
VS
She said I was “interesting”, and then she left.
See, that comma just doesn't belong with the quote part. It belongs to that whole part.
Be honest: you hate it too. Don’t worry, I won’t tell your 6th grade English teacher.

So, yeah, I'm insane and a complete nerd. Officially now, I think.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Paper Bag Printz-cess

(heh, I’m so humorous)

It’s getting close in on awards season. You can tell by all the “serious” movies being trailered and all the anti-How I Live Now and Postcards from No Man’s Land talk on YALSA-BK lately.
But hey, what do I know? I actually liked How I Live Now, despite being insulted by Meg Rosoff at ALA (she thought I was a Real Live Teen, as opposed to librarianing for ‘em). And I felt bad for her that, at ALA, there she was, sitting by her lonesome, with (presumably) her agent out offering FREE hardcover copies of her Printz-award-winning book, autographed. And yes, I took one, because I like the book.
But I didn’t Printz-like the book, because that’s a different matter entirely.
And when you’re talking about awards, no matter which one, there are really 2 questions:
Who do you think will win?
and
Who do you think should win?
Last year, I didn’t make my own win lists. I would have had money on Sammy and Juliana in Hollywood, which is a great, beautiful, fucking tearjerker of a book and everyone should read it, money based on its buzz on YALSA-BK. But I was a young, naïve li’l librarian then, and didn’t realize that listserv/professional buzz doesn’t make a shiny medal appear on the paperback edition of your book.
Or I had forgotten about 2001, and how much I didn’t care about So You Want to be President.
And for years, I avoided anything with a Newbery medal on the cover. I think it was post-Katherine Paterson Syndrome, only cured by an administration of Holes or Christopher Paul Curtis (who also assumed I was a teenager, incidentally). Unfortunately, I had a brief PKPS relapse last year with Kira Kira.
Then I discovered the Important Literature Miracle Cure: bunny suicides.

Who do I think should get the Printz tiara this year?
Look, I really loved Looking for Alaska. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve got a mighty literary crush on the Colonel.* I think it’s a great book, full of funny and heartache and general goodness. Somehow, this thing feels like a classic. And I’m not just saying that because John Green is my MySpace friend and there’s a link to this blog on my profile, either.
Then I read A Room on Lorelei Street and, oh my god, this book is gorgeous. It totally made me cry (and I’m not at all a crier, at least not until Duckie proposes—Oh, that was an awful joke. I’m sorry). But in a good way. This book is so completely full of hope, but not at all cheesy. And it makes not-cheesy-and-terribly-uplifting look so damn easy, like why can’t everyone do this?
So yeah, I’d like one of those two to win. I’m not really sure what I think will win; I haven’t been studying this process nearly as long as I’ve been dissecting the We Love Tom Hanks Show. There’s a death in Alaska, and a crap family life in Lorelei. But will that be what it takes?

And I know most of what I read and love doesn’t have a prayer in the Race to Important Young Adult Literature. Peeps by Scott Westerfeld is awesome so far, it keeps making me late back from lunch, and I got cranky at people trying to talk to me and interrupting especially suspenseful bits, but who am I kidding? Vampirism-as-sexually-transmitted-parasite is going to win a major literary award when two stoned guys on a quest for tiny burgers get a little gold man statue.
--Holy crap, I just got back from break and in the last 15 minutes, Peeps just got like 50x crazier and better. I love a good vampire retelling, and this isn’t disappointing in the slightest.--

And when the hell is Lurlene McDaniel getting her Edwards Award, anyway?

*I keep promising that crush post, don’t I? Sorry.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I bet you thought I was never doing this again.

Billboard Nov 19

  • And, see, I hadn't been feeling this in awhile. I'd get the magazine, and it would be one big MEH.
  • But then I open up this issue, and there's a tiny pic on the contents page from Rent.
  • And it looks like Eric (Jeff?) Noseworthy.
  • You know, the guy from MTV's Dead at 21?
  • And the Brady Bunch movie?
  • And Idle Hands?
  • (which is a great movie by the way, but we all know my Seth Green issues)
  • And the girl kinda looks like Lisa Bonet does in High Fidelity.
  • Or maybe that guy is Marc Blucas.
  • My hatred of him is well known, too, I believe.
  • C'mon! His hands are like, 3X the size of Buffy's head!!
  • I am quite looking forward to Rent despite all this.
  • Steve Chbosky wrote the screenplay. It's good to know he hasn't completely fallen off the face of the earth since writing the one book guaranteed to make me bawl every damn time I read it.
  • Though that's mostly due to how homesick it makes me.
  • "My Humps" fucking needs to stop stalking me.
  • NOW.
  • Seriously, here's a big giant picture of the stupid bitch.
  • And, you know? Her humps don't look all that big, or great.
  • I'm certainly not love-drunk right now.
  • I decided that it's OK for me to guiltily love that Fall Out Boy song. I sing along real loud whenever it's on the radio in the car.
  • And isn't that the whole point of radios in cars? The guilty pleasure thing?
  • Uma's in the new Producers? Hmmm...
  • I just love the old one so much, I don't know how I feel about them filming the musical.
  • imdb says that guy is neither Blucas or Noseworthy and the lady-type is Rosario Dawson, who I've always liked, so that's good.
  • And now I've got the number song running through my head, except, of course, with the wrong amounts.
  • Uproar Over Firing of Teacher Who Showed R-Rated Film
  • Christ.
  • Also, Geography Club got flat-out banned.
  • Next Harry Potter movie soundtrack has Weird Sisters songs on it!!!
  • Melissa and Sterrett, you know I'm going to start squealing when Jarvis is on-screen, right?
  • "Sugar, We're Goin' Down"
  • That's the name of that Fall Out Boy song.
  • Plus, I feel like I at least have to give them credit for the Simpsons referencing name, you know?
  • "It may be new to U.S. audiences, but this song was a huge hit in Europe in 1998. That version featured Melanie C.
  • Bryan Adams has stripped out Melanie's vocals and replaced them with Pamela Anderson's."
  • Yes, that Pamela Anderson.
  • The other 3 elephants of the apocalypse should be along shortly.
  • If Angelo Badalamenti (sp?) isn't at the Film & TV Music Conference, I'm not interested.

There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood.

more emails.
***
In Jessy-is-easy news, I spent a good part of last night using my feminine wiles to attempt to get rid of my massive library fines. And found another greasy hipster in town [who I’ve never seen again, I might add], and was staring unabashedly. And I believe he was staring back. So I now, according to Melissa, have a 401K and stock options.
***
Oh, I'm so not a grown up. That's why I work with teenagers: I have the maturity level of one of them. Except the above 11yrold #$@&, of course.
At least they've found the Ripley's Believe It Or Not book, and are no longer "accidentally" falling off the chairs.
I try to only pull the young professional card when it's absolutely neccessary, like when my apartment manager shows the building to new potential landlords. Look, I try to say, what an amazing tenant I make! Hopefully, they're blind to the fact that I'm unshowered and in pajamas on my balcony at 3PM on a Saturday, clutching the new Harry Potter. Or, you know, they're distracted by the mold on the wall. Whatever means I don't have to move.
I found a picture of you in your prom gown the other day, so I put it on my wall.
***
1. Is it wrong of me to consider changing my Friendster profile to "in a relationship", even though I'm never ever on Friendster anymore, even though, despite not being ambilvalent about who I'm in this relationship with, I'm slightly weird about the phrase (if only I could just put "has a boyfriend" instead--I fucking hate semantics--that's a lie...), just because I know Andy still uses it and might perhaps see the change? What would I even do with his knowing? Guh!?
2. …
3. Today's Euphemism, from Billboard: "[Tim] Armstrong shows his affection for the Clash" or something to that effect.
***
He changed his first. Is it just me, or is the prase "in a relationship" so much more serious than "I have a boyfriend", or even "I have a monogamous boyfriend that I really care about and would like to be with for awhile"? Why does the first one sound so grown up? But, you know, I really like him, and technically I am, so I figured why not change the damn thing?
I need book recs. No cable and all.
1. anything I mention on my blog, obviously.
2. most of the things I mention on my MySpace outfit log
3. Holly Black
4. Looking for Alaska
5. Geography Club
6. read Rainbow Boys and tell me what you think: I'm ambivalent
7. new Nick Hornby
8. Sunshine by Robin McKinley (vampires, snark, and baked goods--I think this book was written specifically for me)
I bought a very cheap digital camera last night. Check out my new MySpace picture, as I'm wearing an indescribable and yet cute shirt I got from the Urban Outfitters clearance rack.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Get out of my dreams.

I forgot I took these pictures of this sexy sexy vehicle.








Those bright red spots? Painted blood coming from those bullet hole decals, which I totally don't get the point of, by the way. Who wants their car to look bullet-ridden?

I’m just like Eminem: I can clean out my closet too.

(some things I found in my sent email folder that I figured could stand in for that long post I haven’t been bothered to write in several weeks—do I need to say that I have no idea what I’m talking about in most of these?)

There's a crying child over by the videos, and I just signed a computer up for someone named after a spice.
***
ran.
dom.
I had no idea.
Today, I told some kids that there would be punch and pie at a program. I don't think they caught the joke.
Of course, later, a regular squeed all over me about Good Omens, then let me go on about Blue Monday: In Between Days, and actually checked the damn thing out.
Hurrah!
Leading, as it always does, to the question: what happens in 10 years that the 14yrolds love me, but the 25yrolds who were the 14yrolds have their sights on boring girls?
***
(oh, and I just had to “undo borderline” in Microsoft Word, so now Madonna’s stuck in my head. Feels like I’m going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline.)

MySpace.
'nother person refusing a hold. which I really don't get, you know: it takes me, like 2 seconds, and then you're guaranteed the book. wtf?
Also annoyed b/c the woman walked over to the circ desk to ask if we had, not 30 seconds after i asked if she needed any help.
grrr

***
only a prayer group saved you, you know, and I'd think you wouldn't joke about it after all you've been through, missy.
***
You're welcome to come to 80s night here, sweetie. Less Smiths, but still a good time.
Monday, I discovered, is $2 well drink night at Hammerheads. I'm working on a new maxim, something like, If you drank too much gin the night before, that's the day the town bully throws the town somewhat effeminate kid's bike and bike lock in 2 separate trees.
***
So I think I may have put my foot in my mouth several times last night, but you know how I stop paying attention to things after about the 2nd gin'n'tonic...
***
So, is it so wrong that I'm still attracted to Ben McKenzie, mustache and all?
***
And everybody should contact me, because I've been really witty lately, if I do say so myself.
Or something.