but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need

My parents used to sing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" to us when we became whiny and demanding little children.
Anyway, this is the Billboard recap for Aug 6, 2005.

• The Rolling Stones are so old, the world has run out of elderly Rolling Stones jokes. And don't get me wrong--I don't think there's some age limit on Rock, but I just think it's a little weird that they haven't really changed or grown much, musically in all that time. They seem to be doing the same sorts of songs, just with less energy. Plus, they've all gotten really ugly.
• Has anyone heard America's first Hip Hop Radio Soap Opera, "What's Poppin"? I expect a full report.
• "Chillious, like a modern day Picasso paints portraits in your mind with his microphone."--I'd love to know how much $$ was spent on this full page ad, and if there really isn't a better, more underground and perhaps more full of street cred, way for this guy to get his music out. Also, I'm annoyed by the lack of a second comma in that quote.
• Hey, I'm painting portraits in your mind like Picasso, too!
• mommy mommy mommy screech! Yeah, that video you're checking out is really more important than your whiny kid. Maybe you should sing some Rolling Stones to it.
• All joking and bitchiness aside, I'm really interested to see where this schools-partnering-with-Napster-etc-like-they-do-with-other-databases thing goes. Anybody know anyone who goes to a school that offers music downloading discounts? It's a cool idea.
• MuchMusic is owned by a company called "CHUM", which makes me think of the RV place on the Simpsons (or was is the pool place?): "Where the buyer is our chum!"
• Good ol' Avril. What's she been up to these days, anyway? There's something so utterly Canadian aboot that girl, eh?
• John Peel in the UK Music Hall of Fame. YAY.
• Faith Hill is wearing a reeeeeeeeeeeally ugly green flowy black sequiny shirt on page 14. Tucked into jeans.
• Gavin Rossdale's new band is called Institute.
• Did you know he's also playing Gerard Malanga in that xMme Law Sedgewick biopic?
• Travesty!
• Agh! Scary fairy Barbie! Huge!
• Here's where I make my first Mariah's boobies joke of the issue.
• On page 22, Alicia Keys is wearing a dress that looks like Li'l Kim rejected it for being too ugly.
• You don't mix animals in the same dress, Alicia, sweetie darling.
• Jamiroquai are still around?
• Remember when Jamie Oliver had that episode of the Naked Chef where he was all excited to cook for his favorite band?
• And it was Jamiroquai?
• And we all died a little inside?
• Well, I did, at least. I don't know about you other people.
• Is it so hard to find a cooking boy with decent musical taste!?
• preferably a cute accent, too
• Setzer's new album is a tribute to Sun Records. That could be really great, or it could suck like, um...something sucky.
• new Backstreet single? WTF?
• OK, so I had last Friday off and for some reason was up ass-early anyway (I think that reason might be called little kitty noses on my face and little kitty claws in my feet) and was watching a little Good Morning America--that's the NBC one, right?--and Faith Hill was on, presumably promoting her new album.
• But she did that "Breathe" song from years ago.
• Does this make sense to anyone? You lead with the new stuff, I always thought. Unless the new stuff is really lame, in which case you should just give up and go home.
• You hear that, Rivers?
• "while the seductive "Rockhouse" offers an invitation to ecstasy as pure as a haiku"
• Just a warning, I'm going to be describing things as "pure as a haiku" now.
• b/c I like to run a joke into the ground
• and then I found $5/got pinkeye/fell down a hill and made out with Chuck
• Hootie are signed to Vanguard now. Good to know.
• Who else is on Vanguard? I feel like it's someone I like, or used to like, or something.
• There was a Styx/Peter Frampton tour in 2004!? Where was I, and why wasn't I informed?
• Chris Columbus directed Rent? hmmmmmmm
• end of magazine
• Thank you and goodnight.