Sometimes, even the most frugal of us don’t feel like making lunches to take to work, the most good-food-obsessed just want some curly fries, and the most responsible stay up way too late with a certain boy to give themselves enough time in the morning to make a tuna salad sandwich, put some pretzels in a bag, and grab an apple. And sometimes you just run out of mayo, world’s grossest condiment.
These are all very good reasons for buying one’s lunch. In earlier times, I had food trucks and Bruegers and plain slices and all sorts of things. But I work in small town Indiana now, so my I-didn’t-plan-ahead-for-lunch $$ wind up going to Arby’s.
Arby’s won out over Subway: the only thing I ever got there was tuna salad, and why am I spending 3x as much for Subway to make what I already decided I didn’t want today, just saltier? And seriously, Subway, if I say it’s too salty, it’s enough already. I eat those red paper package Indian pumpkin seeds. And Arby’s won out over McDonald’s because it’s McDonald’s and Chinese buffet because buffet and go back to work for several hours aren’t a good Jessy combo.
Plus, it’s relatively cheap. That’s because I get the kids’ meal, although they call it the Adventure Meal. I don’t need a lot of food; I’m a tiny girl. If I’m expected to be around library patrons all afternoon, I don’t want biggie size sluggishness. And they got Mr Pibb, or Extreme Pibb, or whatever they’re calling it now to bring in the kids, even though I’m the only person I’ve ever know who actually prefers the stuff. See, Pibb doesn’t need to throw his high-falutin’ degree around, unlike some other pops I could mention. And curly fries. Throw in 2 good-sized chicken fingers and a toy, and that’s about $3.50 for lunch.*
Wow, that’s a lot to go through just so I can make fun of some cheap crappy kids meal toys.
And of course I save the toys. They’re no pancakes-to-robots fake Transformers, but as desk decorations go, I could do a lot worse. Here’s some pictures I took with my new crappy camera. You should expect this camera to be making a lot of appearance here, by the way.
I should also mention that this is my first time using Hello, and that I had already edited these pictures thinking, I don't know, something else, so that's why there's white and they're so tiny.
This is a 2-piecer I got just the other day. As far as I can tell (based on careful study of the plastic bag it came in), the oven mitt is supposed to scoot away if it gets too close to the oven. But I think there’s a sweatshop worker somewhere in China who needs a refresher course in magnetic poles, because both parts kinda just sit there, unless you try to force the mitt onto one tiny part of the bottom of the oven. I like having a plastic oven, though. If only it opened. Ooo! Or maybe someone could get me some little pots and pans and I could make a stovetop, and make Stove Top. Birthday’s next Monday, people.
I think this is frog tiddliwinks. I find it hard to believe that it was easier and cheaper for Arby’s to give out this instead of those metal clicker things. Had they never given me a pint-sized, sample issue of National Geographic for Kids, this would easily win the worst Adventure Meal toy award.
Bonus points to anyone who recognizes the book on my desk, or can explain why I’ve never rescued my flashlight, or why I even have a flashlight there in the first place.
2 horses, kind of fighting? The director tried to play with this one day, kind of unsuccessfully. And if a library director can’t have fun with it, what’s the point? (UPenn library directors who had child porn on their work computers not included—I’m sure he could figure something out.)
This is the most design-flawed. The oven and mitt combo doesn’t count because the mitt would scoot away if the magnets were placed correctly. You’ll notice that Mr. Seal’s tail is different from the rest of him. Mr. Seal actually has about 20 tails, all printed with fun facts about seals, in a fun true/false format that’s fun. Except there isn’t enough room to read anything but the top of the first card and the bottom of the last, and even (as you can kind of tell from my blur-tastic photo) those words are somewhat covered. To play the game, you have to pull Mr. Seal apart. Or get bored and throw him at your sibling, which I’m betting would be a much more fun game. Lara? You out there?
This oven mitt scoots around and came with teeny cards with GirlTalk-esque actions on them. I’ve lost the cards, but I really don’t think an oven mitt should be telling me to dance, anyway.
This is a tiny dragon fighting a spider ring: the caliber of cheap plastic toy I much prefer.
*Crustacean from the Paleolithic, anyone?
It's a plush Judah Maccabee! He's like 18" tall. I can't wait to have him meet Tree. Tree, incidentally is MIA, by which I mean he's probably under a bunch of laundry I haven't gotten around to putting away yet.
But then the cats had plenty of twisties to play with, including the one I broke and left in the box, which Legs spent 10 minutes with his head in a too-narrow box trying to rescue. Because the 300 other bits of plastic around the apartment he's commandeered to play with aren't enough.
Here's Judah off to buy some Kosher for Passover food. Or, standing in front of where I keep my perpetually in progress ill-fitting Koigu gloves.
But wait, there's more! I also got a tenpin toy bowling set where each pin represents one of the plagues suffered by the Egyptians. That's right, BOWLING with the PLAGUES. Hell's yeah.
