we go on after some lip-synch chicks

Billboard May 6

• Goo Goo Dolls are on the cover.
  
• One of them have a Badtz Maru dog tag.
  
• Now, far be it from me to complain about adults and cute Japanese characters, but this just seems a bit odd.
  
• Or maybe it's the "Arr, matey--where be me rum!?" look in his eye.
  
• I say "eye" because his hat is shadowing the one almost completely.
  
• Heh--Goo Goo Dolls couldn't hack the music industry anymore so they became pirates.
  
• Oh, now see--I was trying to come up with a stupid joke involving piracy and Goo Goo Doll lyrics. Like, "Pirates don't tell no one their name" or something. But that kinda sucks.
  
• And now I've got "Long Way Down" stuck in my head.
  
• I'll buy the person who comes up with a serviceable piracy/Goo Goo Dolls line a beer.
  
• Oh my god, Jewel, what are you wearing? I think your belt is supposed to be around your waist, honey, not your knees.
  
• I like when I simultaneously read Billboard and Pitchfork.
  
• It's like I can balance out into a normal music fan or something.
  
• And then I remember that I spent like 15 minutes last night trying to figure out which Belle and Sebastian single Lane would have been referring to as the new one in a second season Gilmore Girls episode, based on airdate.
  
• Luckily, "Legal Man" kicked in and things went back to normal.
  
• Well, normal for me.
  
• Speaking of...
  
• So, yeah, I've become obsessed with Gilmore Girls. It's so good!
  
• I never really got to watch it when it's on (still the case--I don't get home til 7:30 central time), but I'm zipping through the DVDs.
  
• I'm also zipping through that Knit1 rainbow tank.
  
• Except mine is going to be black and blue.
  
• And hopefully fit more flatteringly than this woman's does.
  
• What!? It comes up too high. You know it does.
  
• OK, so it's not unflattering on her. It's just too high, in my judgemental opinion.
  
• It's probably because the pattern leads you to make the front and back pieces really fucking long.
  
• I corrected that by making up xsmall size instructions and letting myself knit as tightly as my little heart desires.
  
• Jesus, they're marketing the hell out of Patterson's Maximum Ride 2: Disappointing Boogaloo.
  
• (That's not the real title. I made it up because everyone I know who mentioned reading the first one was underwhelmed.)
  
• There's some cute singer in an EXTREMELY cute green wrap dress attached in some way.
  
• There's tv, radio, and print.
  
• There's a whole damn soundtrack.
  
• It's a giveaway.
  
• So can I not buy it for the library?
  
• Can I get some to give away?
  
• Well, that was no help. Stupid website.
  
• I love when Billboard tries to make excuses.
  
• For example, like claiming no one liked Jewel's "Intuition" because it was too different from her other stuff.
  
• As opposed to the reality of it sucking.
  
• And the stupid razor commercials.
  
• Here is why the Donnas are infinitely better than the Goo Goo Dolls:
  
• Johnny Rzzzexzznick'z pullout quote: "We're living in an age where there is no such thing as overexposure."
  
• The Donnas, on the other hand, say, "We shop at Target. We like the Olympics. We love Budweiser."
  
• Dirty Pretty Things are, in fact, quite pretty.
  
• I like it when band names don't lie.
  
• 'Course, the fact that I also like greasy hipsters isn't hurting the band either.
  
• That reminds me: is anyone else as ridiculously entertained as I am by the way Zombi press releases, etc. refer to their drummer as "A.E. Paterra"?