Scenes from a class visit.

Some notes from a week of visiting ninth grade classes:
Ask who watched the premiere of Heroes earlier that week. It will help you identify any fanboys you don't already know*. Quickly mention that a large part of why you watched the show was because Jess from Gilmore Girls was in it.
If you have strong opinions about the Jess/Dean/Logan debate, this would be a good time to bring them up. Feel free to reward with candy those in the group who share your opinion.
Feel kind of weird that you have to explain to the teacher the general synopsis of the show, as you feel like you haven't been able to escape its PR campaign for the last month or so. Wonder if the teacher's been living under a rock, or just doesn't pay attention to popular culture, or network tv. Realize after the fact that you should have offered her candy for asking a question.
Be sure to mock any and all regular members of your crew (including any running jokes from, say, your anime club) who happen to be around. Not because you're mean-spirited, but because you honestly suspect they'd wonder what was wrong if you didn't. Also, if a patron has checked out a book you wanted to read, pretty much under your nose, bring that up too. You're allowed to pout and/or be sarcastic.
Don't just pay attention to what the internet is telling you about teens and immergent technologies/entertainment deliveries. You've got a captive audience and are offering candy (you are offering candy, right?) for opinions. What do these kids think about Jackass? Downloading tv shows from iTunes? Do they care? And isn't that why god invented YouTube, anyway?
If someone tells you they've read a book a movie was based on, ask which they liked better. Ask why. Don't judge if they liked the movie better.
If you've got Laffy Taffy, why not ask a student to tell you a joke in return?
Especially if your library is in a one-video-store town, be sure to mention how much cheaper your library is for movies, compared to said video store. Also mention that you order just about all the new releases, a bunch of older stuff, and will most likely order what patrons suggest. Talk as much shit as you'd like about how better your library is than the video store. Because, let's face it, you should be. If you work at the sort of library that doesn't order new releases on DVD and older stuff, especially anime, horror flicks, and other teensploitation, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously! Why are you even bothering to do class visits if you aren't ordering popular movies?
Find out how many books you have at your library. They really like to ask that one.
If someone asks you what the meaning of life is, you say 42. You have just been tested.
Secretly, you are allowed to get annoyed by teachers judging what their students have read. Just try not to show your displeasure when the teacher says, for example, they'd rather a student was reading about Hannibal-who-invaded-with-elephants than the Lecter one. Kick yourself when you realize you had the perfect excuse to trot out your "my vice-principal was in that movie" story.
If someone asks you what you've been reading, and it happens to be 30 Days of Night**, warn the squeamish in the class about the gore.
Before throwing candy around any classroom, be sure to warn students of your terrible aim and the fact that you throw like a girl. Also tell them to duck. Laugh along with everyone else when the girl who wasn't paying attention gets beaned by a left-over summer reading sucker. Apologize too, though.
Yell at everyone to pay attention when you give the hours of the library, because you hate pulling out the "our system automatically shuts off in 5 minutes" bit.

*Not surprisingly, I'm pretty familiar with my area's fanboy population. We can smell our own. At some point, I began avoiding booktalking Joss Whedon-related works, because of my tendency to nerd out and alienate the class.
**Fucking amazing.