If you think that this is cruel then you should see what my friends do.

Awhile ago, I got a message through MySpace from a guy who had taken a cursory glance at my profile and thought he liked what he saw. He sent me a message referencing bits of it, including my clothing blog (which boys never get, so really, you don't even have to try to understand. If you have a penis, I'll grant you a pass on that one.) and I don't remember what else. It wasn't particularly offensive, so I did what I usually do in these situations: I went to his profile and nosed around.
It's why it's there, after all.
And you know what? I just wasn't all that impressed with what I saw. Here are some examples (examples may be more recent than the original message, but I'll explain that later):
General Interests: "Music, guitars, cars, guns, monster trucks, bullfights, welding, long walks on the beach at sunset." Like that sad stab at irony in the last item?
The first band he lists is Buckethead. This is not an alphabetical list. Also, and I know it's a disease so many of us struggle with, but can I just say the 20+ band listings where you're determined to prove you haven't locked yourself in some musical genre ghetto have GOT TO GO? Really, 20+ band listings in general. If you're that into music, $10 says I've figured out your favorite bands based on the shirt you're wearing in your picture anyway. The only thing worse is the dreaded "anything but country".
Also, and maybe this is just me, but in my experience, men who list Tori Amos amongst their favorites are not sensitive so much as trying to appear to be sensitive. You know I've no time for that.
Right now, the song on his profile sounds like the music Guy Pierce is lipsyncing to on top of Priscilla in the giant shoe.
I can't tell if this is pretentious, meant to convey a Deep, Poetical Soul, or...um, I had a third thing. Both, maybe?
"independant and foreign films that defy convential Hollywood formulas but aren't so avant garde that they are impossible to watch and understand" God, I hate this crap. Didn't I spend enough time as an undergrad dealing with boys who thought that hating Hollywood across the board made them smarter than their professors? All your heroes worked within Hollywood, bitches. If independent film is so awesome, how come your beloved Kevin Smith keeps making bigger budgeted, crappier movies? If Kubrick's such an independent genius, why are all his movies based on other people's stories, hunh?
Plus, let's all remember that, when I was planning on making movies, I was all about the ones that were "so avant garde that they are impossible to watch and understand".
His book list is just boring. I don't want to get into a whole discussion about by-the-numbers interests, what-you-like vs what-you're-like and all that, but c'mon: "The Golden Ratio by Mario Livio, God's Equation, The Mystery of the Aleph, Chance, Foucoult's Pendulum all by Amir Aczel, Hemingway, Nietzsche, Vonnegut, Sylvia Plath, Poe, Shakespeare, some mind candy but not much, anything that doesn't suck." I mean, those books just aren't fun. I respect a Plath reader much more if they admit to sneaking Family Circus everyday.
Which is why, when I'm about to leave the library, I check and see what my pretention-to-trash ratio is. If the name Robin Wood is on anything that isn't some Buffy dvds, I head over to the VC Andrews section. If I've wiped out their section of 20-something-indie-rocker-autobiographical graphic novels, I remind myself to scan the new picure books. It's about balance, people.
Because if you're not balanced, and you send a cute girl a message on MySpace, this may be what happens to you:

Hi,
My name is (name deleted for purposes of turning this into a universal rant). I emailed you a while back and never received a response so I am emailing again out of curiousity. I was wondering what I did wrong. I didn't ask for naked pics, I wrote an email relevant to your profile, I commented on your wardrobe blogs (I even used the word "banal" which I had to look up to ensure I was using it in the proper context) etc etc etc.
I have real books listed in my profile...not Stephen King or romance novel....Sylvia Plath for Christ's sake...
anyway...this is mostly tongue in cheek but I am curious about the lack of response. You can tell me I am an old, ugly bastard and I would understand.
PS...You have a pic of you wearing a viking helmet....check out my pics and my headgear for fireworks safety.

(emphasis mine; ellipses are his)
And then, suddenly, I think I remember who this is from. I think he did that "you should check out my profile for something that's vaguely related to yours" bit before. Either that, or it's a common way to get my attention, maybe.
My response: "So you're saying it's not a girl's own business who she talks to? Ass."
Yeah, we could probably blame Tiff's presence, a belly full of pad thai, and 90 minutes of Strangers With Candy for that one.
And then he responds to that. Which, to me, is a pretty ballsy and arrogant move. And not in a good way.

I have read my post to you 11 times looking for where I said "it's not a girl's own business who she talks to" with no success.
...To you, I am an ass (It didn't go unnoticed that one of your General Interests was "Making an ass out of myself).

Clearly, "ass" is a homonym: sounds the same, looks the same, means different things. Context, baby. Context.
And I have to say, this is the big thing. This bit about him not saying it. Explicitly, no, he didn't. But when you send another message demanding an explanation as to why you got no response, underlying that message is the assumption that it is your call whether or not someone responds, not the actual person doing the responding.
So, in conclusion, don't be a jerk. And lighten the hell up. No one impresses people with senses of humor by not showing theirs.
***
So, why am I picking on this poor guy? Because this is what gets me about the online-meeting-people (for whatever) racket. I don't have a problem with being messaged; I have a problem with the implicit assumption that I am welcome to their message and will respond. I put up a fun, sassy picture of myself, and suddenly I'm expected to just take men asking for everything from "friendship" to a one night stand to a serious relationship without calling their bluff.
And I do so enjoy a good bluff-calling.