I saw a punkrock show in a car garage.

October 8, 2005. Billboard Magazine.

• Nikki Sixx sez, “We’re here to destroy the world.” You know, if he had done a better job the first time around, he could just be here to relax.
  
• But the world is where I keep my stuff!
  
• Sorry, I got the live-action Tick DVDs out of the library last weekend, and they made me miss the cartoon. So there will be references.
  
• Good ol’ crazy Fiona Apple. I can’t wait to see what she does next: she’s always good for a wacked-out awards show moment.
  
• I thought Tom Petty was anti-Clear Channel? Or is he just anti high cd prices? I’m so confused by this giant 2 page ad about him from Clear Channel.
  
• This is one of the strangest things about Billboard: there are always these giant “thank you” or “congratulations” ads. Feels like a goddam high school yearbook.
  
• ”Ringo—I always wish I could have gotten to know you better. Have a great summer!—Steve M.”
  
• Who wants to hazard a guess as to which Steve (or Steven, or Stephen) M would write such a note to Ringo? It’ll be a fun game.
  
• My only friends are grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal.
  
• Oh, this Petty ad is actually 3 pages.
  
• Ginormous is my new favorite word.
  
• Fiona’s sheer dark purple shirt is cute. I’m loving how everywhere dark purple is this fall.
  
• Aw, Franz Ferdinand. So cute, and so deeply gay.
  
• ”Nickelback frontman [complete w/icky picture] is pleased with the diversity of the hit band’s new album.”
  
• Um, I’m going to go back to staring at Franz Ferdinand some more.
  
• mmm, smoothy smooth
  
• Everyone must read And Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers. There’s a bit where Georgia has borrowed her father’s brandnew razor to shave her legs. For the next few pages, during her descriptions of her father cutting his face to shreds with his now-no-longer-brandnew razor, she keeps interrupting with “mmm, smoothy smooth” and it’s real funny.
  
• boring, boring, boring
  
• Here’s an article called “After Kate Moss: Will Artists Know Better?”
  
• and no, I’m not going to go off about the Kate Moss thing
  
• Except to say this: I fucking dare you to find me a more coked-out man than John Galliano.
  
• And what’s all over Kate’s leg in this picture? It looks like she fell in some sandy mud last night, and didn’t wash that part of her thigh.
  
• You know, normally I’m pretty apathetic about Nascar. I really don’t care about the zoomy and the bright colors. But when you start letting Scott Stapp be a part of your sport, that’s when you invite the Jessy hate.
  
• Even if the fan of the week a couple weeks ago was a YA librarian, which is pretty damn cool.
  
• Heineken is funding some sort of urban renewal project, turning abandoned warehouses and such into music venues, recording studios, etc. That’s pretty cool.
  
• I don’t see PBR doing any of that shit.
  
• Aw, The Grey Album shoutout. Cute li’l DJ Danger Mouse.
  
• Oh, they’re talking about university venues like, I saw Lauren Hill at OSU’s stadium-thing, not like, I saw Low in a classroom. Oops.
  
• Good show, though. Dean Wareham Boy was there, and I was too busy staring at his ass to notice that the girl in front of him, in the kickass KoolAid shirt, was my friend Meleah.
  
• True story!
  
• I wonder what Meleah’s doing now…Last I heard, she was in Montana.
  
• Also funny: just about everytime I go back home, I see DWB. This isn’t hard, since he lives in Squirrel Hill (Tiff looked up his address one day, but I don’t know if he’s still in that apt) and I spend a lot of time in Squirrel Hill, between the Cage, Jerry’s, and running errands with Mom. He always gives me this look, like, Don’t I know you from somewhere?
  
• And I always want to respond, I look familiar because my friend was stalking you for a good part of the 2000-2001 school year.
  
• But I don’t, because then we look crazy.
  
• Which we’re not.
  
• Right?
  
• I’m not going to read the rest of this article about TV shows and new music, b/c they mentioned Six Feet Under, and we all know what happened and how upset I got the last time Six Feet Under was mentioned in this magazine.
  
• I really need that new Franz Ferdinand record.
  
• Santa? You out there?
  
• How ‘bout you, Chanukah Bubbe?
  
• Steve Earle has written a play.
  
• or Chara or Gwar I could sell you tomorrow
  
• Just bring me back my girlfriend.
  
• Ooo, there’s going to be a DualDisc for the Franz Ferdinand.
  
• That’s what I want.
  
• Whose mall Santa-esque lap should I prepare to sit on for this?
  
• Hey, Danny’s mentioned in here.
  
• Ahh, the never-ending source of entertainment that is My Morning Jacket pieces full of old news…
  
• Li’l Kim’s got Michael Jackson-itis, I think. Except instead of wanting to look like Bambi (at least, I hope that’s what Michael was going for, b/c it’s what he’s got), she looks like Black Barbie.
  
• Didn’t Black Barbie have a different name? What was it?
  
• Damn, that’s going to bother me now.
  
• Rolling Stones have gotten a song on “Days of Our Lives”. The way they phrased this news item, I originally thought the Stones themselves would be on the show. And that’s much, much cooler.
  
• Now I wanna see Bowie on “Passions”.