No, I never never say never take it out on you.

Ever since I moved here, I seem to hear more and more the "Nice guys finish last" complaint. Granted, I kind of like this better than the old frequent complaint I used to hear (Cool guys + boring girls = no dates for cool girls), but that's probably because I was always the one making that complaint.

But this, this isn't a defense, or a shout-out. Because it's not about nice guys and jerks, with the jerks getting all the girls. It's about the boys who pretend, and the boys who are honest. It's about the boys who can't talk, vs the ones that do.

What are you pretending, boys who claim that girls don't like you because you're not a jerk? You're pretending to be our friends. You're not our friends. Our friends are the people we feel comfortable with, comfortable enough to talk about things with, things like times when our boyfriends are jerks, or we're going through a dry spell, or we're upset about anything at all. Because, yes, sometimes our boys will be jerks, or will have a jerk moment. You just think they're all jerks because, well, girls like to bitch to their friends, which--remember? You're pretending to be. Also, you've become a bit blinded by your jealousy, perhaps. We feel comfortable enough with you to talk with you, all the while you're hiding shit from us. Stop hiding from us, and tell us how you feel. Our real friends don't get all passive-aggressive about other boys in our lives. Our real friends don't give us weirdly romantic compliments, and then not understand why we're confused by what seem to be mixed messages.
Because the messages are mixed. Because girls, contrary to what you "Nice Guys" seem to think, don't automatically assume that everyone wants us. In fact, I think most of us assume the opposite; I blame junior high for that. Unless you tell us that you like us, we don't know. And, and this is the big important point here, you have no room to bitch if we don't read your mind and never find out that you are interested in us that way.

But how come you never say anything to us, all the "Nice Guys" wonder. They think girls should make the first move, since they can't. Girls don't make the first move because you've taught us not to. For every girl that successfully makes the first move (and I didn't think this was possible until very recently--Hey, Kyle), there are at least 3 girls who are not thought of as desperate for approaching a boy. I don't want to even think about how many slips of paper with my number on them, how many unanswered emails, how many promised and not delivered phone calls there are out there because I approached some boy who wouldn't have had the balls to say anything to me, but then got scared off by a girl actually hitting on him.

So I've got a new model. (Sorry for the "model"--we had long range planning stuff at work yesterday, so I'm all lingo-y). There aren't Nice Guys and jerks. There aren't desperate girls and oblivious girls. There are people who are brave enough to tell you they like you, people brave enough to respond, and people who should think about learning these skills.
Because us girls are getting impatient with this Brian Krakow bullshit.

Let the irate comments begin! (Hey, Other Kyle)