My album's coming out on HugTown Records.

I'm terrifically bored right now, sitting at work on a Church Night here in my tiny library town. My brain is all fuzzy, from sitting outside in the sun and listening to the Runescape junkies next to me. I'm hoping that, as I type, I'll come up with something interesting to say, or at least my usual level of uninteresting. Maybe another story, like the blind date one?
No, I can feel it...here it comes...A Bunch of Things About Me, In No Particular Order (b/c I just want to be like Melissa, but several months ago):

1. I like bulleted lists. With or without numbers.
2. I actually LOVE all kinds of lists. I was reading my "free" issue of Real Simple the other night, and the only thing that saves this magazine from being utterly brittle and shrill, like a combination of Martha Stewart and Melissa Rivers, is their readers' tips section. This month, it was about saving time. My favorite 2 tips were the woman who keeps a card with useful random information like vacuum bag size, printer cartridge type, etc., in her purse (this is so fucking brilliant I can't stand it) and the woman who has made up a master sheet of common errands she has to run and grocery items she often needs. When she runs errands, she simply circles what she needs to do on a copy of the sheet.
3. Lists make me feel organized. I'm so utterly unorganized, that I need to force myself to make endless lists, systematically file things at work, and keep a day planner.
4. This doesn't make me any more organized than you; I'm just a fuck-up that tries not to be.
5. I'm also not really an extrovert. I'm a big ball of shy-assed goo that forces itself to not be.
6. Shy-assed goo with kick-ass shoes.
7. Hey! Rhyming on the list!
8. Running errands is one of my favorite things to do. Not only do I love getting things done and feeling accomplished (makes up for all those other Sundays I spend on my ass, watching Buffy DVDs and attempting to keep the cats away from the tortilla chips, or on my porch reading YA novels and attempting to keep the cats off the screen), running errands also involves making lists and checking things off said lists.
9. Just about everything I love about the summer happened last weekend. I went to a show, read some kinda overblown fantasy, had popsicles, danced like a goober, logged some crush time, drank crap beer, had a picnic, rolled down a hill, went to a cheap movie, drank too much coffee too late at night, had a rambling and somewhat coherent conversation sort of late at night on my porch, and went to the craft store.
10. At the craft store, I bought fake flowers (real fake) to wear in my hair. I'm totally rocking the flowers all damn summer long.
11. Saturday night I called my mom on someone else's phone, slightly drunk and very silly, to ask her if my parents still had the video Lara, this girl Jasmine, and I made lip-syncing and dancing to "Hangin' Tough".
12. The thing my mom says that irritates me the most is, "I don't mean to sound unsympathetic..."
13. The 2nd thing is, "Do it for me." This usually accompanies some kind of request to do something for my sister that I've been willing to do on my own for a long time.
14. I totally buy into that whole theory that says birth order is responsible for a lot of character traits.
15. While I smirk when the Girl Who Wears Half-Gloves To 80s Night is brought up, secretly I kind of wish I had rocked that, or thought up something equally as great. No one else does that shit, and no one probably ever will.
16. I really really don't like eleven year olds.
17. I find it frustrating when I have half the information I need. Like, there's an envelope for $$ and a bunch of raffle slips in the info desk drawer, and I have a note from the last staff meeting in my trusty work notebook (Nyanko Burger--I'm nothing if not professional) that says a quilt will be raffled off for Relay for Life (if you want to donate and sponsor me, somehow let me know), but I don't have anything that says when the raffle will be, or how much each chance cost.
18. Am I the only person who sees a similarity between the new looks of VOYA and Billboard magazines?
19. While I can be the meanest girl in the world when it comes to bad pickups, as my MySpace friends can now attest and some guy in a puka shell necklace found out Saturday night, I'm all over a good pickup line. They're just so damn few and far between, and the best one I've ever heard, I said.
20. It was, "Hey! Wanna see the picture of Iggy Pop where he looks just like Kim Gordon?" and then the book flipped right open to that page. Damn.
21. I want a tshirt that says "Who's Your Librarian?"
22. I also want one with a heart, a skull and crossbones, and the word Librarian. Not neccessarily in that order.
23. Here are some words I have trouble spelling: piece, neccessary, reccomendation.
24. The other night, I was bitching about how crappy my health coverage is because I have a $30 copay to someone with a $50 copay, so then I felt kinda schmucky.
25. I prefer salty snacks to sweet ones.
26. I still think Where the Wild Things Are has the best book ending, ever.
27. I still know most of the words to Madeline, and all of "Alligators All Around" from Really Rosy.
28. When I was a tiny little Jessy, my favorite Sesame Street muppet was Guy Smiley. My parents took us to see Sesame Street Live, and I cried because my boy wasn't in it.
29. I'm not sure what it says about me that, at 4, I loved a game show host huckster-in-felt, but whatever it is, I like it.
30. I wish Yoda was my neighbor.
31. I'm playing Alchemy right now while I think of other things.
32. I think of the dinosaurs at the Carnegie Museum as old friends, especially the triceratops skull and the brontosaur bone you can touch.
33. Slapstick is funny to me. I play like I'm a conscientious girl, and o! so grown up, but if you fall, I'll probably laugh. Of course, if I fall, I'll laugh harder.
34. At the show Saturday night, there was a kid in a Smashing Pumpkins shirt and it struck me that, had I worn my Pumpkins shirt out when I first started going to shows, I would have been so ostracized. Such is sceniness, I guess.
35. I love a good fantasy novel like almost nothing else, but I can't slog through Tolkien.
36. Loved the movies though, for the same reason I like YA historical fiction: someone else has done the work and the research for me.
37. If someone gave me a buttload of money and I had to either use it to either move to a better apartment or replace the cabinets and counter in my current place, I'd replace the cabinets and counter. Might use the extra to give my downstairs neighbors some etiquette lessons though.
38. 'Cause them throwing chicken at a hot girl to get her attention is never going to stop being funny to me, even as I'm kind of horrified by it.
39. I've moved at least once a year, including dorm rooms and back to my parents' house, since I was 17.
40. Right now, I'm rereading the first four Stephen (Steven?) King Dark Tower books so I can finally read the rest of the series and remember what's gone before.
41. I'm already planning how hermitty I'm going to be July 16 and 17. Nerdy, I know.
42. I read really fast.
43. I can't abide stupidity, but I also don't like when people act like their innate intelligence is some huge personal accomplishment. Your parents might be able to say that, but I think a lot of it's just out of a person's hands. I read this short story when I was in high school and a kid in it said that being proud of his intelligence would be like being proud of his arm: it's always been there, and he didn't do much to put it there.
44. I don't remember the name of the collection this was in, but I think it was award-winning stuff written by teenagers.

OK, I've rambled on long enough here. To Gem Drop!