Cameron Crowe went on to create many of my unrealistic romantic expectations.

KRISTY!: The other day, Tiff revealed that she always thought Kristy was a lesbian. Don't worry, I made the obligatory tasteless softball joke.
I always thought of Kristy as the one who would definitely stick around Stoneybrook and become a total soccer mom. She's the kind of lady who watches Desperate Housewives and doesn't realize that the show is making fun of people like her. As I mentioned in the MaryAnne post, Kristy has several kids, either 3 or 5 (I can't decide). She went to UMass Stoneybrook (wait, was Stoneybrook in Mass or Connecticut? Anyway, she went to the mediocre state school in Stoneybrook). Kristy was that girl on your dorm floor who lived on campus but totally went home every weekend. Kristy never declared a major, because she left in the middle of her sophmore year. Her biology TA had set her up with his roommate, thinking, "Pushy competitive girl + my no-personality, waiting to be whipped roommate = true love, which = he moves out!" This plan worked, and Kristy and--let's call him Lou, shall we?--were married seven months later. 9 months after that, the poorly disciplined children started coming.
Because Kristy is still so competitive but none of the other BSCers have kids yet, she likes to remind them, using her famous blunt honesty, of how "full" her life is, and is that person in all the other girls' lives who is constantly asking when they'll have one of these (gestures to child who has just wormed his sticky way into Stacey's white Paper Denim and Cloth lap).
Of course, Stacey's usually too busy macking on Kristy's older brother to care. She cried all the way through Sweet Home Alabama because it reminded her of what could have been.

And now with this done, I can go back to the normal boring shit I blather on about. Unless I become curious about any other cheesy series' characters' futures, that is. Any requests?