My least favorite YA author, Gail Giles, says on her website that "I mock you with my monkey pants" is her favorite expression. This is hardly just, right, or fair. See, Giles is my least fave author--well, let's back up. YA fiction (YA stands for young adult, 12-18 year olds, for the non-librarians) can be broken into at least two types: the stuff where those weird kids in funny clothes are BAD (drugs, cutting, Columbine, etc.), and the books for those weird kids in funny clothes (hello, Francesca Lia Block!). Giles would be in the earlier group. I tried to read her newest, Playing in Traffic, but realized that "Wow! That sounds cute!" probably wasn't the effect she had in mind with her weird bad girl outfit descriptions. A miniskirt made of duct tape? C'mon, that's awesome and you know it.
So anyway, who are bigger weird not-bad girl and boy poster kids than Oz, who says the monkey pants thing, and Willow, who it's directed at? You can't like Buffy (or Joss Whedon in general for that matter) and write books where the weird or nerdy kids are either bad or desperate to not be weird or nerdy.
Best fake swearing EVER: PooPooJunkieButt
Best conversation I've had all week:
me (in sequiny vintage cardigan and catseyeglasses)
her (middle schooler, in pants with "GYMNAST!" across the ass, holding a hamster ball, complete with hamster)
Is today 50s day?
No, I always look like this.
You look pretty.
Oh, thanks!
Very weird. But less funny when I realized that it was sort of 50s-60s day, since the 7th graders were all doing The Outsiders related stuff. I was at the high school for the readers' club thing, which was even more bloody useless than I had imagined. But I did get a bit more done on the (hopefully)allergen free Nick Cave hankie.
Also, I'd just like to reiterate how strange those words across the ass pants are. Why exactly am I staring at a twelve year old's ass again? Oh yeah, to read that she's a gymnast.
Watch this blog come up in some porno search because of the combination of those four words. Ewww.
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2 comments:
Ooooo...I'm Anonymous!...yeah, whatever...see if you can guess who I am...
Down here in Savannah, GA (...any ideas?...need another hint?...) I see those "words on the butt" shorts all over the place, mostly worn by the students of the Savannah College of Art & Design. So, as I'm walking around (...you know...my morning constitutional and all...) all I see are the letters "SC" on one cheek and "AD" on the other, see-sawing back and forth, up and down.
But what I don't get are the girls who feel that words on their buttocks are not enough. They have to pull the shorts up so they are on the verge of a wedgie, then roll the waist band down far enough to prove to the world that they know how to operate a Lady Bic without loss of too much blood. Then and only then are these girls ready to go for a run around Forsythe park.
I mentioned to my wife Nora (...know who I am now?...) that it shouldn't say SCAD on their shorts. It should say SCAG.
...you have a Nick Cave hankie?!?...
Speaking of Ass Writing Pants,
Here at UMass (any ideas who I am?) we have many
girls wearing them, with UM on one cheek and ass on
the other. Very funny and annoying.
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